Relationships Information presented by the helpful gang over at personals4all

Affairs: Advice for the One Who Was Betrayed


You are hurt, you are angry, you are simply devastated.

Things will never be the same again. The only winning choice and a source of hope is for the both of you to decide to make things better than they were before.

You probably have a million questions. Some of these need to be answered, some do not. You have to be wise enough to ask yourself if you really want to know the answer to a particular question.

Learning how to trust again is not easy. You certainly will wonder how you will know you're not being fooled again. The only consistently successful answer I have is, does the behavior match the words?

People can fake it a while, but over time, if the behavior does not match the words, it will be exposed.

Affairs are always a choice. Nothing in a marriage or any other situation can make a person have an affair.

At the same time, part of the healing is facing the question: What has been missing in our marriage to cause my partner to be with someone else?

This is such a difficult issue to face, and I'll probably get nasty letters on this one, but it is a necessary part of the healing process.

Here's an even harder issue: forgiveness.

It is absolutely unfair that one person has an affair and the other partner has to do the difficult work of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not condoning what was done, letting your partner off the hook, or allowing yourself to get fooled and hurt again.

Forgiveness is releasing yourself from the long-term pain of what has happened. It may not happen right away, it may take a long, long time, but it is necessary at some point.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e special report on the 10 Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.


MORE RESOURCES:

Gay Matchmaker Responds to eHarmony's Entry Into LGBT Market
MarketWatch - 15 hours ago
"eHarmony has an impressive track record of helping heterosexual couples find meaningful relationships," said Patrick Perrine, the Founder and CEO of the ...


Comerica Bank Expands Into Ventura County
MarketWatch - 19 hours ago
Our commitment to the city of Westlake Village will allow us to build stronger relationships with local consumers and small businesses in the area, ...


Analysis: It's About Building Relationships
BusinessWeek - 18 hours ago
"With respect to the AXA site, the strategy of providing offerings and services that help the financial institutions develop stronger relationships with ...


Restore peace in relationships
Victoria Advocate, TX - 20 hours ago
A lot of wonderful things can happen when two people come together in a relationship. But it's also true that whenever imperfect human beings start forming ...


Examiner.com

Relationships in the news: Jennifer Garner fears stalker
Examiner.com - Nov 20, 2008
by Debra Collins, Relationship Examiner Actress Jennifer Garner was granted a three year restraining order today for herself, her husband Ben Affleck, ...


Hamilton coaches go extra mile to help players in program
Arizona Republic, AZ - 2 hours ago
The coaching staff had to call college coaches, establish relationships and take on the work of assembling highlight tapes to be mailed away. ...


Times Online

Know which relationships count
Minneapolis Star Tribune, MN - Nov 19, 2008
Good for Tom Friedman, the St. Louis Park kid who grew up to become a topnotch New York Times columnist and author, for paying attention to the relationship ...
Video: New US Administration to clean up the mess RussiaToday
Clinton accepts offer to become secretary of state, sources say Blast
Obama offers old rival a new job CBBC Newsround
Newsday - The Associated Press
all 3,699 news articles


Plenty of past relationships in Apple Cup
SportingNews.com - Nov 20, 2008
SEATTLE (AP) -- Cody Bruns used to get grief as a kid growing up in southeastern Washington. Smack in the middle of Cougar country, Bruns would proudly wear ...


Boston Globe (registration)

US vote proves prejudice a going concern
Toronto Star,  Canada - 7 hours ago
Unfettered by institutional restraints, gay relationships were free to seek their own balance. People would pal around with friends, lovers and various ...
Gay rights = human rights Concordian
Letters: Prop. 8 and religious persecution OCRegister
O'Reilly suggested that without Prop 8, "a man can have 27 wives ... Media Matters for America
New University Online - U.S. Daily
all 1,461 news articles


Do you fear for your relationship?
Joy Online, Ghana - 3 hours ago
In a significant proportion of relationships, partners live in pain and almost lifeless relation¬ships. They live in fear instead of love. ...

Relationships - Google News

home | site map
© 2006