| |
| |
|
Relationships Information presented by the helpful gang over at personals4all |
|
|
|
Are You Fit To Love?
is the most important question you'll ever ask yourself. Let's face it, our relationships are extremely important. Yet, often they are the cause of pain and struggle. Single or not, societal standards convince us that we can have it all. Much of the available relationship advice compels us to go after everything we want. Sadly, for many it is not working. Climbing divorce rates and more singles seeking love are proof that our attitudes are counterproductive. Our expectations have become highly unrealistic. Rarely do we look in the mirror and ask: Am I fit to love? Today's relationships are failing because of deterioration of character. It is time we made a point of building long-term relationship success based on the strength of our characters, instead of clever-minded relationship strategies. Great relationships require great characters. We simply must become better people for each other. Becoming fit to love is a powerful wake-up call for the brave. It will dramatically improve our relationships or our chances of finding love. The happiest people are those in exceptional relationships. They are heavily invested in their most valuable asset: their relationship and have an abundance of life's most precious commodity: love. They all have one thing in common: they are fit to love. At the heart of all exceptional relationships are three universal principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity and here is what it means: MUTUAL RESPECT: Your partner is just as important as you. Our partner's dreams and hopes are as important as our own. This principle requires us to think of our partner as our equal. Given that our generation has made history as ambassadors of our "me first" society, we are more concerned with getting what we want. For Bill, everything revolves around golfing. He spends every weekend at the golf course while his wife, Jane, looks after their two small children. Extra money from their already tight budget is spent on Bill's hobby. Stuck at home with toddlers, Jane has little freedom to do or buy anything special. Despite Jane's complaints Bill seems completely aloof to the fact that he is disrespectful. Relationship conflicts arise because of different perspectives. Lovers argue over who is right, instead solving the issue in their mutual best interest. The struggle over unresolved issues leads to resentment even when there is love. Love and respect take a backseat and the relationship deteriorates. This dangerous game is the reason why many relationships fail, when they shouldn't. Instead of trying to change each other or putting our needs first, we must realize that our partner is just as important. In grabbing hold of our partner's beliefs we show that we respect our partner. If conflict arises and we cannot agree, we should simply agree to disagree and continue to talk with respect. Without mutual respect, it is impossible to create loving relationships. MORAL RESPONSIBILITY: You are always morally responsible to those with whom you have relationships. We live in a society that elevates self-fulfillment above anything else. We seek self-fulfillment at any cost, even at the cost of others. Regardless of how often we have heard that we are not responsible for our partner's happiness, we are still responsible for his or her well-being. Love is a moral responsibility to another person. We blame our partners if things do not work out without looking in the mirror to see our own flaws. Yet, everything we think, say or do affects those we love. Jennifer had lunch with her friend Sally at a quaint restaurant. Jennifer could barley wait to share the details about her affair with this young stud. Sally listened in awe as Jennifer blamed her so-called inattentive husband, Paul. It was a strange twist of fate that Paul sat behind the flower-decorated lattice wall listening to every word his wife said. From here on life took a different turn. Jennifer had deceived her husband Paul and lost the respect of Sally. This is a high price to pay for moments of sex. In our quest for better relationships, we must make our relationship a priority. We must focus on our relationship not elsewhere. AUTHENTICITY: True love only happens when you are real Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Agreed with your partner's opinion even though you didn't share it or said: "I love you" when you didn't mean it. Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or to get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost the bravery to be real! For many there is quite a gap between the inside and the person they present to the world. How about Toni, the dad who rents a Porsche to impress his date, while being delinquent in child support. Debby spends every Sunday at Grant's parents but resents it. To keep the peace, she refrains from claiming some of these Sundays on her terms. To be validated we often compromise who we are. Conditioned by our environment we have become products of the culture we live in. No matter how good we are at playing roles eventually our truth emerges. Being fit to love means being real. When we are authentic our relationships become real and we never have to doubt them. Regardless of the state of our relationships or how unsuccessfully we have tried to find love we have the power to radically change today. Mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity are key to exceptional relationships. People in exceptional relationships are fit to love and in the process they reap some profound rewards: ·They live much happier lives No wonder we envy these people. In times like these, laced with tremendous uncertainty their relationships are like rock-solid anchors. Mahatma Gandhi said: "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave". Let's be brave! © 2005 Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. To order her book or take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website http://www.fit2love.com. For Free Relationship/Dating Advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships. Why We Chose The Person We Love "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -- George Santayana"Why do I always wind up with the wrong person? I want someone who is kind, loving, reliable and open. E-Love at Easter - Part Two The next week was a whirl. The first quarter of the year was ending. Romantic Gift Guide It is a commonly held belief, mainly amongst men, that romantic gestures are only given on Valentines Day. This shouldn't be the case however, and a romantic gift or gesture given at any time of the year can make your loved one feel really special. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes--Celebrity Romance Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a hard time convincing people of their sudden hot and heavy romance. In a poll taken in New York City's Times Square, over 2/3 of the respondents believed that the Cruise and Holmes romance is a publicity stunt due to their upcoming movie releases (Cruise's War of the Worlds and Holmes' Batman Begins. Are Women From Utopia And Men From Wal-Mart? It is surprising how many writers, psychologists, or scientists have made it their life's work focusing on the gender differences. In our male-dominated society it is no coincidence that men have undertaken the bulk of this work. Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their ability to manipulate each other. Its insidious nature tilts our everyday playing field toward the manipulator. How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction of a woman in my life, and it all started with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual, body language), "Hey."She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting. Never Ever Show Youre Jealous O.k. Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing / Minimum Time If you are going through the emotional rollercoaster of a breakup, feeling pain, anger and depression, know this: You don't need to suffer one more day over your ex! It doesn't matter how long you have suffered, it is time to give up the pain and open up to a life free of pain.You may feel that you can't stop clinging on to the past, but by clinging on to the past, you are stopping life. Diamond Promise Rings - For When You Mean It Diamond promise rings are quite common, but many are not all that sure what they are. What is a promise ring? And what does it mean?Promise rings (all of them, not just diamond promise rings, I just love diamond ones) are a symbol of a promise made between 2 people that both intend to keep. Relationship Tips 101 In this article I'd like to share what the research shows as being very helpful for keeping relationships strong and connected. Since 1973 Dr. Relationship Advice: After the Break Up - Creating an Exit Door in Your Heart Q. It's been over a year since the guy I thought I would be married to broke up with me. Relationship Problems: Whats Your Contribution? As the story goes, there was once a farmer and his family. They lived in and farmed a huge and gorgeous valley, right next to an equally huge and gorgeous mountain range. The Healing Power of Forgiveness People who experience bad health often have major league forgiveness issues in their lives. When we hold negativity in our energy field, inevitably it expresses itself as physical disharmony or bad health. Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Communicate In my workshops with couples, I start with this question:"How many of you believe men and women are created differently?"Usually most everyone agrees, and I congratulate them on passing Anatomy 101. The next question is slightly different:"How many of you believe that men and women think, feel, perceive and experience the world in sometimes dramatically different ways?"Usually most of the women agree and the men just look confused. Boston Lawyers, DC Lawyers and Individual Rights Looks like everyone wants to sue someone right? Well, I suppose you have the right. Let me tell you my point of view on a couple of interesting current issues. Relationship Advice: 4 Steps to a Genuine Apology A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance.1) ApologizeI've come to dislike the words "I'm sorry" because they're so easily said that they've lost their meaning. 10 Free Romantic Gifts Being in love does not mean that you should turn overnight to be an extravagant spender. Love is beautiful when it is simple and true. Did He Think of Me? As a betrayed partner this was one of the first questions that I asked my husband when I found out about his affairs. Each affair elicited the same response from me.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
