| |
| |
|
Relationships Information presented by the helpful gang over at personals4all |
|
|
|
The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship
There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions. It is important to note that the breaking up stage can happen at any time within the other stages; i.e., at any time you or the other person decides to exit the relationship for whatever reason. In all seven stages, you always have these choices: 1. Continue moving forward 2. Stagnate 3. Slow down or go backwards 4. Exit By taking notice of the signals from your head and heart, you will be better able to interpret what your intuition is telling you. At each stage, consider, "What am I thinking and feeling?" Are you receiving conflicting messages? Is your head saying one thing and your heart another? This is often the case, particularly in romantic relationships. What happens is there is an agreement error, a contrast between your thoughts and your feelings. This is perfectly normal. Just remember that you have your very own internal system of checks and balances. This system was designed to keep you safe. For the moment, it is temporarily out of order, probably due to stimulation overload. So, before making any decision at this time, go somewhere quiet' the answers will come with reflection and focus. Once the answer comes, you should act quickly so you do not have time to doubt your decision. You should never feel trapped or unable to choose what is right for you. If at any time you do feel this way, then that is a good sign that something is not right with the relationship. You then need to examine what it is that is holding you back. If it turns out to be the other person, you are probably better off leaving the relationship. A smart way to make important stage decisions is to mutually agree on what to do next. After all, "if it is meant to be, it will be," so you may as well start out making important decisions together. Couples who have good relationships know that it takes time to build their love. They make a conscious effort to progress slowly and purposefully through each stage, enjoying the process, while allowing their love to develop naturally. Communicating with each other is essential to this process. You should be open and honest about your concerns and fears, so that you can trust that everything has been said and understood by both parties. Even if you find that things aren't what you would have hoped for, at least you know what is going on and then you can work on making it better. Levels of Love Most of us have experienced love blindness. We either think we love someone or do not realize until it is too late that we actually did love someone. You do not have to be blinded by love. You have the power to recognize it, but you must use smart decision-making skills to avoid making fatal relationship mistakes. In this section, work on waking up your awareness so that you will act in "knowing." The first step is to become familiar with the stages of relationships and the corresponding levels of love that you or your partner will most likely experience. Relationship Avoidance Stage "I do not desire love" Goal: to prepare yourself for love Characterized by non-interest Meeting Stage "I am open to finding love" Goal: to prospect for the possibility of love in others Characterized by anticipation Dating Stage "I hope to find love" Goal: to pre-qualify for a potential partner Characterized by uncertainty (These three stages represent being single and the importance of using the "Screen-out" process.) Breaking Up Stage "I no longer have love with this person" Goal: to let go of the person/love Characterized by disappointment/relief (Breaking up is a transitional stage.) Exclusivity Stage "I think this is love" Goal: to further qualify the person to see if she/he might be a good match Characterized by excitement Commitment Stage "I know this is love" Goal: to close the deal Characterized by confidence Keeping the Love You Find Stage "I want to keep this love" Goal: to preserve the love you have found Characterized by continuous commitment (These three stages represent being involved and the importance of using the "Screen-in" process.) The key is to consciously place yourself in each stage. For example, if you decide you want to be in the "dating stage" then be fully present and make a true effort to make yourself available for dating. If, however, you find that your heart isn't in it, and that you would rather avoid relationships, then you need to stop and consciously put yourself back in that stage. This will help you to stay clear on what you want and enable you to honestly communicate to others "where you are at." Each level and stage of the relationship is a transition and involves psychological and emotional energy. As you progress through each level, you will no doubt experience excitement and anxiety, hope and fear, arousal and dis-arousal, certainty and uncertainty, along with a myriad of other feelings. You will need to work hard at balancing the messages that you are receiving from both your head and your heart to most accurately interpret the incoming, overwhelming information-it is very easy! to be misled. ***This article is adapted from the book, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships: Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love by Michelle L. Casto About The Author Michelle L. Casto is a whole life coach, speaker, and author of Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships, Get Smart! About Modern Career Development, and Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Contact her for a free 30 minute coaching session: www.getsmartseries.com and www.brightlightcoach.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Make Time for Your Relationship "We don't have to wait till Valentine's Day to think about relationships, whether we're in one or would like to be. Most people would agree that romance is the key element beneath the relationship pot. The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50 I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The hassles of trying to meet someone is grating over my nerve cells. Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What? Your Beloved Soldier Is Coming Home - Now What?Laura anxiously anticipates the return of her husband Dan. What will it be like and what should she do? After all, he is not returning from a successful business trip or golf weekend. Don't Snuff Out Expressions of Liking It is hard to express all the emotions to somebody whom you love the most. Although one wants to share all those things which he/she has in his/her heart. How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. Soul Mate Myths But the cold truth is that most people have never known the inner radiance of their own soul. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. Relationship Advice: 6 Secrets for Great Relationships The Law of ContentYou can get into trouble in a conversation if you listen only to the content of what is being said. Trouble such as debating, arguing and nitpicking. How to Find Out If Your Wife or Girlfriend Is Cheating On You What drives a woman to cheat may look a lot different than what drives a man to cheat however; it's really not very different. Most extramarital affairs happen because of unmet needs in the relationship. Intent Over the past few months, things in my life have been better than ever. New home, new friends, and wonderful career. What is Abuse? Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, psychological sexual, or financial.It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviours, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders. 27 Characteristics of Loving Men Every woman dreams of meeting that special man that knows how to fulfill her heart's romantic desires. Speaking of that special someone; is your special someone a lover or just an average Joe? No pun intended if your guy's name is Joe. Finding a Life Partner Dear Candace,I'm 35 years old and ready to open my heart to a true partner. I have honored myself in the past by leaving relationships that weren't right, yet I wonder if my idea of how I think it is supposed to be is preventing me from creating what I truly want. How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 3 Liar, Liar! Pants On Fire!Today, you'll learn about 2 yellow-flag indications the person on the other end of your online chat is possibly a troll (married, partnered or undesirable).. The Breakdown of Relationships and Why They Fail All females need sexual tension from a prospective or existing partner to consider having or continuing to have, a physical relationship with them. Lose this from the start and you will become mayor of the friend zone. Relationship Advice: How to Make a Genuine Apology A genuine apology contains at least four elements: apology, acknowledgment, forgiveness and repentance.Let's take a closer look at each of these four elements. Cheating Wives and Cheating Husbands Give Different Reasons for Having Extramarital Affairs Infidelity studies indicate that the percentage of cheating wives is fast approaching the percentage of cheating husbands wives. But the studies also reveal that men and women who are cheating on their spouses give different reasons to justify their extramarital affairs. Nip Verbal Abuse in the Bud So often in a new relationship we learn the dynamic of the new relationship. This includes how you react together as a couple, with each other, and in group settlings. Being Dumped, Just Plain Sucks! Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said:"Posted by Anonymous The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself. How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You 'Be yourself', isn't that what you've always heard? It certainly isn't ill advice considering what you are losing in the long run when you adopt one of these fraudulent lives.You may ask, what's adding a little sizzle hurt any?It's not the extra energy that you bring to the table as long as it's your true personality. Want To Strengthen Your Relationship Open your mouth. What do I mean? Talk - say what's on your mind.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
