| |
| |
|
Relationships Information presented by the helpful gang over at personals4all |
|
|
|
Are you (or are you with) a Commitment-Phobe?
We hear it all the time. "He just won't make a commitment." "She just wants some space right now." "I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship." What does having a fear of commitment really mean? Actually, it means basically what it says. For SOME reason you, or someone you are involved with, isn't ready to take this relationship (or any relationship) to the next step. So how do we know if we or our (hoped for) partner are truly afraid of commitment? How do we know that it's not something else? Is there any real difference between these two anyway? Do these excuses sound familiar? "I'm just under a lot of stress right now." "It's not you, it's me." "I can't focus on a relationship right now because of my overloaded schedule." Very often, we want to accept these reasons because we fear the real truth. Other times, we are just very confused by our feelings and the often mixed messages from the other person. So, how do we evaluate our ability to make a long-term commitment? How do we know if he/she is really ready or willing? There are only two real issues here to examine. The first issue involves looking at a true fear of commitment itself. If this is the problem it's important for the person with this fear to ask themselves a few key questions. Are you concerned about the idea of forever? If you answered yes to any of these, it would be a good idea to begin working to understand where these feelings come from. Once you understand them better, you can choose to address them. Perhaps you need more time or emotional growth before you consider making a long-term commitment. There can be several factors that influence your fear. Explore these and arm yourself with a plan to put them to rest. If you would like to deal with past relationship feelings, understand if you are relationship ready or evaluate your self-awareness, go to http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm for articles that can assist you with these issues. Greater self-knowledge will help you to overcome this block to building a lasting and satisfying relationship. The second issue is the inability to make a commitment to a PARTICULAR relationship. This may not be the right one. Perhaps there is a sense of this but it is written off to being a "commitment -phobe" in general. Focus on the true level of involvement with each other. Is there a genuine connection? Or is there a vague feeling of something missing? Evaluate the quality of your intimate relating. This does not mean how often (or even how good) the sex is. This is about how open, sharing and real you are in your interactions with each other. Does any of this sound familiar? It seems like we are only killing time? He/she doesn't seem to want what I want. We seem to be off and on in our level of contact/affection. I/they are still not over a past relationship. I/they just don't seem to know what I/they want. Remember to focus on the involvement or lack thereof between you. If either person is disengaged in any way, it's time to address the real issue of; "Is this the right relationship for us?" Exploring your ability to make a lasting commitment should be a first step in your plan for building a healthy and lasting relationship. Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Real Friends About a year ago, I was talking to a friend of mine on the telephone. He had just experienced a big success in his career and wanted to brag. Zen And Romance The art of romance and the art of Zen are actually very similar. By romance we mean the feeling of love, happiness, joy and delight in just waking up in the morning. How To Seduce A Woman The Right Way Gentlemen, if you really want to seduce a woman the right way, you have to make everything revolve around her. Everything!The seduction starts long before you get into bed together. 10 Clues of an Online Affair 1. Your spouse or partner spends excess time on-line. The Spiritual Connection of True Romance In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds chirping as Mother Nature awakens from winter's sleep, the air is thick with pheromones. It's hard not to have romance on the brain. How to Start a Conversation With a Woman Last week I had the easiest pick up and seduction of a woman in my life, and it all started with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual, body language), "Hey."She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting. The Friend Who Taught Me Knowing her day can be dreadfully tiresome when she mounts her soapbox, there's much to like and enjoy about her life so far.When she describes the understandings of her existence and its climactic moments, I compare with other ordinary people as they go through their day, terrified of what may come their way. 7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell? We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and thought, "What was I thinking?'' Problem is, you weren't thinking. You based your decision strictly on chemistry and first impressions, and in the words of Elvis Presley, "That's when your heartaches begin. Stand By Your Man: No Matter What? We all heard the report of a prisoner escaping after his wife shot and killed the correctional officer transferring him to another jail.What would motivate a woman to kill someone and let her actions render her vulnerable to the death penalty - for a few hours with "her man?" Was he so incredibly special that death was preferable to living without him for a few years?If the positions were reversed, would he have risked the ultimate penalty to aid in her escape? Or would he have shrugged and moved on to a new partner?We are all aware of glaring differences in the psychological makeup of men and women (aside from the often enormous individual differences within any one gender). Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages A man walking through the woods near a river hears desperate screams for help. He runs to the river to see someone struggling as the river pulls him downstream. Find Your Love as Early as Possible Life is made of innumerable dots. Dots, which are part of your today life, will connect with tomorrow dots. How Compatible Are You and Your Partner? What are the things you argue about? Where are the disagreements? The small resentments? Where do you have to give in to get along?Do you argue over money? Are you fighting over sex? Do you have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? Do you squabble over extended family and friends? Is one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play things safe? Does one of you want to be right all the time? Does one of you want to always be in control? Do you disagree about the fun activities in your life?Couples may have conflict over many areas but do you know there is a simple explanation for the conflict? When looking for a life partner, it is a good idea to take a close look at your "Need Strength Profile", based on Dr. William Glasser's work in the area of Choice Theory. Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don't even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner's heart melt because it's one of the finest acts of seduction. Warning Signs He / She May Not Be The One We've all looked back on past relationships and said, "What was I thinking". Problem is, you weren't thinking. The Big Secret of Age Think back to when you were a child. Pick a time when you were aware of the world and starting to notice things around you, perhaps 10 or 11 years old. The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50 I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The hassles of trying to meet someone is grating over my nerve cells. Daisies A Story About Life "I love daisies too," she told him several nights after they first met. She wasn't sure why she blurted it out but it seemed the normal thing to say considering the conversation they were having. Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up Breaking up.The End. Russian Brides - Who Are They? In recent years, thousands of young Russian and Ukrainian women have come to the USA and European countries by means of marriage and were unkindly labeled "Russian mail-order brides". But who are these women, really? Why are they prepared to leave everything behind, to go to an unknown country and live with an unknown man? Can a Russian bride really be a good solution for a Western man? We will attempt to demystify the phenomenon of mail-order-brides.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
