| |
| |
|
Relationships Information presented by the helpful gang over at personals4all |
|
|
|
The Sting
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 28, 2004 Two days ago, purely by accident, I found out my husband was a member of an online sex and swinger service. I unintentionally opened his e-mail, thinking the computer was logged on to my name, not his. After a minute or two of deliberation, I used the password to log on to the site to see what he was doing. I almost threw up when I read his profile and found he was actively seeking women and couples for extramarital sex. Yesterday, I became a member of the site, set up a fake profile, and contacted him. I think I was hoping he signed up as some kind of joke at work to see who would get the most replies or something. Today I got his reply. He wants to get to know me better and see pictures. I am going to play this out and see how far he takes this, but I already feel betrayed and cheated on, even though it is with me! We've been together for eight years, married for six, and have two very young children. I never even thought of him cheating on me before this. Olivia Olivia, contacting other people for sex is not a lark. Your husband is doing something covert which may end your marriage. If you confront him with the thin evidence you have now, he will tell you this is the very first time he did this, he is sorry, and he doesn't know why he did it. Our response is, perhaps he doesn't know why he gets in the car and drives to work, either. Now your husband is thinking about this "new" person. He is hoping she e-mails pictures. He is thinking about how he will conceal her from you. He is plotting it out in his mind. Don't expect to ever know the truth from him. The truth is of no advantage to him. In the many letters we receive, the betrayed party feels they never learned the entire truth. If you pursue your quest for information, you will want to know several things. How long has he been doing this? How many partners has he had? What kind of precautions has he taken, if any? What does he tell others about you and your relationship? At some point you will tell your husband what you know. The more you know, the fewer excuses he can offer. He may fall back on the betrayer's standard excuse: it's your fault. We don't allow for that. You don't cheat. If you have problems, you talk to your spouse. If you are going to get involved with another person, you end your marriage first. Anything less permanently destroys trust in the marriage. Wayne & Tamara Jumping The Gun My husband and I used to work for the same company, which is how we met. A group of us from work played on a dart league. I had no interest in him other than friendship. My relationship eventually ended, and his marriage was ending. I was not the cause of his divorce. A year before I came along, he told his wife all he was to her was a paycheck. This woman tells their children I am the tart who broke up their marriage. Will she ever take responsibility for the problems in their marriage that caused the breakup? It takes two, and I wasn't one of them. Bianca Bianca, when the police fail to read a suspect his rights, the verdict may be thrown out on this technicality. Your husband got involved with you before his divorce was final. That allows his ex-wife to say, "It was the other woman." Your husband committed a procedural error, and she's decided to argue the technicality. If you had waited until his divorce was final, things would be different for all involved. History can't be undone. That's the problem. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Spice Up Your Relationship Tonight Every relationship needs relief from the same old bedroom routine now and then. Here is a collection of tips to boost the Scoville units in your romance. And They Didnt Even Know I was Looking: Lessons on Love from My Parents I came from good people. I didn't always know that. Little Help Finding Love Online Visit the dating sites.If finding love online is what you're after then the most important thing you can do is to get out there and network with fellow singles. The Relativity of Your Life We live in the world of the relative. What and whom we surround ourselves with, how we spend our waking hours, and the type of person we become is in direct relation to all that surrounds us. Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets? Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus?'what women want,' is still left unanswered to men. Even when we reflect upon the 2000 film, What Women Want - lead character, Nick Marshall (played by Mel Gibson) seems to have all the answers. Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince and lives happily ever after. Gay Breakups: When the Rainbow Ends Introduction"It just hit me out of the blue when Mike left me. We hadn't really been together all that long, but I thought I'd finally found my true soul mate. Are all Men Unfaithful? "Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming, Dreamer!""We just can't commit to one person! I Loooove Women!""I can't help it! Women want me!""I almost went with this co-worker of mine years ago, and I feel some kind of regret today that I haven't done it?""Caroline, I have an active sex life with my girlfriend. Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell? We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and thought, "What was I thinking?'' Problem is, you weren't thinking. You based your decision strictly on chemistry and first impressions, and in the words of Elvis Presley, "That's when your heartaches begin. Relationship Advice: Closeness and Connection In my work with couples, certain themes have emerged that can help us understand how a couple that was once close can drift so far apart.How couples drift apart1) Life got in the way. Universal Laws for Couples The Law of Connection: Spouses are either growing closer or growing apart. You don't get to stand still in relationships for very long. 10 Fast Ways to Re-ignite the Flames of Love Enhance Romance today.When Men and Women enter into a relationship, what they are really looking for is a best friend, some one they know will love us no matter what. Are the Neighbors Next Door Secretly Swinging? The swinging lifestyle does not discriminate against race, body type, sexuality, social standing or financial stability. There are people successfully living the lifestyle from all walks of life. The Secret of Relationship Success With a divorce rate in this country that approaches 50%, and a fairly sizable percentage of marriages that aren't particularly blissful, it's difficult to avoid searching for the answer to the battle of the sexes.Would you like to stop searching?We've moved through the old paradigm of getting your needs met in relationships, and it has proven itself to be a miserable failure. Mairi Mairi came into my life about two years ago. She came from Arizona with a cheap trailer, four kids from three different fathers, and a seriously negative attitude. Calling Forth a Soulmate How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. Love or Lust Do you know what the definition of love is? This is it: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, an intense personal attachment or affection, a person toward whom love is felt, a strong enthusiasm or liking. Do you know what the definition of lust is? Here it is: intense sexual desire or appetite, an over whelming desire, ardent enthusiasm, to have strong desire. Relationship Advice: Voices of Experience on the Radio A few years back I was on a radio talk show out of New Orleans called "The Andre' Show" discussing "What Makes a Marriage Successful".The producers had seen my column in the New Orleans paper and decided to create a talk show topic from the column. My Life My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together. 9 Myths About Being Single More than 48% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals. The American Association for Single People projects that by 2010, 47.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
